“It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly.”

Guess what? my memory are failling badly(like srsly) , so I'm going to write down everything I'm going to do this week ! Luckily I have a blog!!!!!! Thank God!!

Tuesday(tmr) - Meeting Jasmine @ 4pm ! Nighttime - Club/Pinic*(IDKIDKIDKIDK)':)

Wednesday - Meet my fatty/study buddy Jordan Jayson Lei Yi Nakama Hai !

Thursday - Meet my dearest baby Randy Ang Jian Ming to pass him his present!

Friday - Movie screening with Smoove-ers !

NAIL IT DOWN MY BRAIN PLS, KBYE!

I just feel like staying home forever & ever & never step outta of the house again.

I swear I will be well again, I just need support & time & endurance & perserverance.

I will be normal again.

Yes, I will.

In this present society, you fight your own, breathe your own, live your own, care for your own, or you definately won't be the one standin' till the very end of time.

Trust that.

If only the world can get prettier, actually just by a little it's more than enough.

But we were always told/asked/shown to be realistic the very start when we were meant to be born, breathing.

I guess I'm beyond weird.

Seriously , I don't know what's wrong with me these days. It's just crazed crazed crazed. Those madness in my head are drivin' me nuts I swear , totally. I think I need a fking break from everything on Earth like literally everything. I don't mean to not meeting my dear friends these days, not replying texts that often, not getting into facebook/twitter updating my life, doing my regular stuffs like I do usually. But really I've got no mood to. Sorry guys , I guess it's seriously the most down part of my entire sixteen years of life. It's just.. No words at the moment could describe. Or maybe my vocabulary isn't that strong to find one now. ARGH. DAMN , CAN I JUST SCREW ANYONE UP. Cause I really need to scream BADLY.

K I know many of you guys will ask me why , a tons of WHY(S) on why am I like this & what happened. But guess what? I'm clueless myself too, so drop that.

& to even know these , you guys must be thinkin most problly it's just some kind of PMS? But oh wait, my period just passed & I've never have had PMS , swear. So what was it? I just felt as though everything isn't right, doin' right, goin' right, workin' right. get it?

I would love havin' someone there for me physically now , to actually bring me out , regardless of my ugly bare face (totally w/o makeup/fringe/welldone dressing) , not judging me on how I'm gng to scream my lungs off & practically listen to all my nonsensicial stuffs that are really so NOT ME(in the view of my friends) cause I guess none of my friends knew this 'ME' & most imptly , not breathing a word out to anyone.

But , I presumed there won't be any of such on Earth,

doubtin' a million on that.

Negativity is life, right folks?

HEYYYYYYYYYY, SO WAZZUP. AHAHHA

I'm feelin' better now, at least a little. phewww x10. I thought I was going to die off from my burstin' of emotion earlier on. Luckily there is such as blog. I thank God for that. I do hope I'm not the only one feelin' this way though. K , bye guys!

True that, so much.

Are you guys curious on how I look like without makeup?
Here's 5 photos I took from webcam(sometime back) when I'm still having my head of blacky black hair. Totally without any makeup , no concelear , no eyeliner , no blusher , no fake lashes (cause these are mainly what I put, don't really like foundation cause it's pretty hard to find the tone I like & it tends to make me look even whiter.)

Be prepared. It's as though I'm sick. Pale enough yes.

Not to mention , a pimple decide to find his/her home on my forehead. So obviousss I know...

Here is it

.....

........

(hahahha, like some secret exposing or what.. LOL)

K , it's pretty fun playing wedcam @ home when you've nth to do! Get crazy enough. heheeheh! much difference? I hope not but to me I think it has somewhat a difference in the eyes part.

Guess what? I will have some webcam photos on my recent self soon , with my actual hair color ! Can't rmb when these photos were taken , shld be ard May? yup!

K, bye guys!

(It's DAY TEN , FOLKS.)

Shop @ Fancyloop for the best deals ever!

It's tearing me apart.

Waking up at 3am is seriously no joke. Plain boring I swear, having said that I'm really quite sick today till I vomitted. Missed out the show at sentosa along with E,SY,K,A & HK. Thousand apologies guys): But luckily my dear Eliza can get tickets for me on Sunday!!! I'm so happy & thankful for that!

Moving on, I've been rather depressed bout' my size/weight. Really am depressed. I can just break down & cry just because I don't feel nice bout' myself. I tend to cry to sleep almost everyday this week. It's really hard to handle. ): I wish I'm not so down at times. It's really drivin' me nuts. I tried to give up , I really tried but the harder I try the harder it's stuck right into my mind (regarding my size). Esp when I'm going out, deciding on clothes to wear. Doubt many can understand this , so yupp, it's okay. Go ahead & judge me if you felt it's so lame. Let me tell you what, you fking don't understand it.

Crazily enough, I'm eating again like NOWzzz. SrslyI can't control my mind. It's so fk up I swear.

I feel happy when I eat, I feel sad when I eat, I feel srsly fixed when I think bou't it. LOL.

Gettin' aside those unpleasent issues , guess what? I'm pleading my mom so hard these days to actually allow me to travel to BKK with S.Y this Nov/Dec! I really want to go so badly like srslyyyyyyyyy!!! It's like I WANT IT so so so so so badly. Hopefully my mom will allllooowww , so at least I can shop like SO DAMN CRAZY in those CHEAP CLOTHES & forget almost everything in Singaporeee ~~~ whoopswhoooppps!!!! I AM SO SO GNG TO BKKKKKK~

K, blogging in the middle of the night it's reallyyyyyyyyyy COOL. Cause at least you have sth to do but after this post I'm back to boring(nessss). Okay maybe I should go to youtube.com to watch some lame & cranky videos or a movie or 2 online till dawn breaks~~~~~

Bye guys !

(O's is coming in less than 2 monthhhzzzzzzsss , panick panick panick hard peeeeps.)

(Day 9.)

Jasmine Tan Hui Fen, always my special lovely lady. I love you so.

It triggered my mind totally.

il mio amore ; tumblr ♡

Weird.Cold.Cactus.Dreamcatcher.Bipolar.Hunky-dory.

Always wanted someone to be there for me romantically but I never allow anyone to get close enough to my heart . Ironical .

Dazzling lights. My favourite. It makes me feel happier when I'm down.

Depresssssed.

Superb depresssed.

So upset.

Damn upset.

Sadsation maximum.

Confirmed & Verified.

I need to bang wall & die off.

Sheeshaaaaaaaaa!

Hey wazzzzzup dudessssss~~ hehehehehhe, like step one american accent ! LOL.

So it's been 100000000years since I last post about my life !! Yuppppppppp to sum up , it's so awesome esp when all my great friends are by my side, almost 24/7 ! They are so sweeeeeeet , lovely & everything you can ever dream of !
Esp my dear Jasmine babygirl , tell you what , she is so swweeeeetttt till omgossshhhzzz !!! She will just text me every single day without fail, be it rain or shine , stormy or windy, mooody or happy , night or morning , just everyday okayyyy! How to find such a friend you tell me !

I love her alot really , reallllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Not to forget , my dear Keisha & Eliza !!! These 2 girls are my best tooooo!

Though all 3 of them are like totally different clique & charactor , I seriously love them alot ! Now I know who I can turn to who when I'm down/upset/angry/moody/sad etc etc ! They are those that will never say out your secrets , your most deeepest secrets!

All 3 of them are my gems like seriously ! So please bitches, don't snatch them away from me. Never ever in my life am I going to lose them ! confirm plus chop !!!

Lately, I also made some new good guy friends ! They are definately not those that just want to get close to you just to be your bf, having motives here and there, but so special actually! Totally different from many guy friends I used to know ! They kinda really am my bestfriends these day too! Making my day out everytime always so fabulous fun! Their jokes and lame actions can really make you go crazy , laughing so hard till your stomach starts to ache! HAHA! But seriously I love all of their company so so much ! It's like so enjoyable ! They don't judge you for who you are, be it appearance or anything ! Even if I'm fat or short, they still am your friend , calling you out whenever ! It's just so ... fantastic ! (: hehehehee!

Part II!

Part I!