"il mio amore ; ♡ dreamcatcher & cactus!"
Title: Perhaps a new beginning.
Perhaps a new getaway. You're pretty welcome.
Title: Pretty meaningful,
“And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.”
“You pile up enough tomorrows and you’ll find you’re left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don’t know about you but I’d like to make today worth remembering.”
“It was terrible and awful when someone left you. You could move on, do the best you could, but like Eli had said, an ending was an ending. No matter how many pages of sentences and paragraphs of great stories led up to it, it would always have to have the last word.”
“You can never really know someone completely. That’s why it’s the most terrifying thing in the world, really—taking someone on faith, hoping they’ll take you on faith too. It’s such a precarious balance, It’s a wonder we do it at all.”
“Now you see, why it is useless to cry. Your tears do not wash away your sorrows. They feed someone else’s joy. And that is why you must learn to swallow your own tears.”
Title: Tumblr.
You eat, you’re fat. You don’t eat, you’re a freak. You drink, you’re an alcoholic. You don’t drink, you’re a pussy. You read, you’re a nerd. You don’t read, you’re stupid. You tell a secret, you’re an attention seeker. You don’t tell a secret, you’re still attention seeking. You let someone in, you’re easy. You don’t let someone in, you’re too uptight. You smoke, you think you’re cool. You don’t smoke, you’re a loser. You’ve had sex, you’re a slut. You haven’t had sex, you’re a frigid little bitch. You wear make up, you’re a slag. You don’t wear make up, you’re ugly.
You can’t please anyone. ever.
@Tumblr.
Title: My new cast.
My awesome new pink cast... Total of 6 weeks till removal to go hospital again. This is crazed cause I have to go for my O's in this. I'm so dead. Being home for 1 week already got me insane, 6 more weeks? I'm so going to die. H.E.L.P
For real. 6 weeks???????!?!?!?!?!!?!!?!!?! FREAKING YEAH.
Title: It's pretty much random & insane for this post actually...
On the verge of breaking down. Like seriously... So I'm kinda wide awake at this hour? yup pretty much amazed by myself. Visiting the bone specialist in another 3 hours time? Nervous. Definitely praying for the outcome to be fabulous. Cast removed & perhaps I'll be able to walk? Hopefully. But it's only been a week since my fall. BIG SIGH.
I think I sense a change in me. Had been really weird & keep-to-myself kind of personality recently. I've got no idea why & seriously nothing really interest me these days. Not even those I would go gaga for like last time. It's like something is wrong with me. Something within. I wonder... However, through these days being home, lying on my bed almost 24/7 , I've been thinking ALOT. Like really ALOT. It's crazed. I hope my brain could just stop functioning for 3 days & let me rest in peace.
Sometimes I think about how I would die? Perhaps a Car Accident? Illnesses? Old-aged? (SO MANY WAYS TO DIE LAH...) Fine, it's depressing.
Forward.
Or maybe I might just die tomorrow.
Hmms... enough. I'm just going to laze around on bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of more things. More & more. It's breathtaking. But still I can't help but think. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really insane.
Bye then. (:
Title: HI I'M HERE AGAIN .
When boredom strikes... I Can Really Bang The Wall .
Title: Boredom kills seriously.
Sup! Brand new day for me. yeah... (boring as usual, thanks to my panthetic leg..)
So I just had a bowl of Katong Laska & two muffins & Greentea & Ice-cream SOLELY FOR LUNCH ONLY. Omgawd, if this goes on, my fats are going to be overflooding. Not to mention I had a packet of noodles + 2 muffins at 2am before I knock out on my bed last night!! Adding on daily was my 4-5 meals(sometimes 6) + snacking , OMGAWD. Save me please. I hate to be at home cause I can't stop eatingggggg. If I'm still gng to eat at this rate in this ONE ENTIRE MONTH OF 30 DAYS AT HOME, I'm sure I couldn't even step out of the house door after I'm well. BIG SIGH FOR MY BIG HUGE STOMACH. Sometimes I doubt anyone would eat as much as me srsly!
Currently what's keeping me company these days are just dramas & more dramas. Not to mention my lovely friends who had been texting me, calling me to keep me busy rather than just lazing around my bed, watching dramas & not moving an inch. I swear these days are getting way toooooo bored. I neeeeeed to do something! (Obviously not STUDYING, though I know O's are 23days away. FML) Having to say that, I'm still leaving my books 10000 miles away from me. HEH. Actually I do feel that my brains are going haywire actually from doing nothing. HA HA HA Omgawd this post is totally ridiculous. I've got no idea what to post actually but to keep me busy I chanced upon blogger AGAIN, yes again, so I decided to post. Apparently it's the only thing that I can do to exercise(in regard to my fingers), cause I could hardly do things that I could exercise. Not as if I can jump?run?walk EVEN... Oh whatever, let's just get some assss kicking. I'm gng to watchmy drama ! Bye readers(if there's any) HA HA HA K, BUT I ABIT LAZY TO CLICK START ON MY REMOTE TO START MY DRAMA ! HA HA HA HA HA. I'M SO BORRREDDDDDDDDDD!!!!
Title: My awesome fall over @ Marina Barrage on the 28th of Sept 2010.
Such a bright early morning ! I'm awake ! Great. Nothing much to do either, so I'm here to blog. Let's start with the Birthday Celebration over @ Marina Barrage , shall we? It was basically a stressful day for me to plan this entire celebration thing. I did my best, some came, some didn't. It was pretty fun in all I hope? I was really trying my best to make the atmosphere by talking alot & calling them tgt to play some games. It's really tough I swear. I've never planned a birthday celebration before. So I hope I didn't screw it up? But the best part was I fell while we were playing Ice&water(how clumsy). Panthetic fall, my knee was overflowing with blood, ankle bone was broken? Toe was having internal bleeding & some scretches here & there. At first I thought it was just like any other fall , a minor one perhaps, so I literally took a train back & change for a bus to get home. Tolerating the pain all the way. It was crazily painful(srsly). But I thank God for those who sent me back & Peisong for carrying me some part along the way! Gawdz, thanks so much guys! Reached home at 12:45am when I actually fell at 10pm. Heaved a sigh of relief when I reached home. Thought I would be better after a sleep or something. However I start to feel hot around my wound and slowly all over my body. Next thing I knew, I'm actually running a high fever. Wound infection? yes. Tried to stand up & walk, indeed my ankle was swollen like pig leg. My mom knew something isn't right, so we hire a cab & off we go straight to the hospital(A & E). Omgawdz. I did 2 X-Ray , a injection , puting cast?????!!! on my ankle , cleaning my wound & lastly learning how to walk with crutches. It was hell load of pain. Reached home at the panthetic time of 5:30am. It was such a tragical night. Sigh. Threw the idea of going to Shiyun's chalet cause I could not even walk. Not to mention the bathing part was HELL-LIKE. Each visit to the toilet for peeing seems to take forever also. I'm so tired of going up the stairs & coming down each time when I have to bath. Blame it all on my clumsy-ness. Seriously I was so clumsy as always. )': Perhaps a few photos of my leg?
Enjoy? hahah, I doubt you will..
Title: GET SMOOVE OR DIE TRYIN'
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SEE YA THERE!
Title: Tragic.
I'm pretty exhausted after all that had happened.
I had to be home for 1 whole month? Walking with a cast on my left foot & literally crutches with me for this panthetic 30 days? Just by the though of it is killing me already. Thinking about the fun I'm gng to miss out & those awesome shopping trips, ktv till morning, chitchat till late & the fact that I'm going to spend my one month at home? doing nothing?
How I wish I can sleep this one month away & the next thing I know, I'm out having fun with my lovely bbg(s) & friends. I don't really wish any of them to come over my hse either cause I look disgustingly horrible. Yet I'm so bored. I feel like stepping out of the house this instant but I couldn't even stand up without the help of my crutches. Tell me why )':
I didn't expect a simple fall could be so tragical.
I'm really bored to tears @ home. Facing the 4 walls in my room is literally killing me.
): Not to mention, no more BKK trip for me till Dec?
I wanna cry so badly now, LIKE REALLY )':
Title: When was the last time you did things for the first time? I asked.
 So not perfect. I hate the fact that I'm always having such a low-self-esteem regardless on how hard I tried to improve my thinking each time. It's crazed. Recently I felt hurt again, cause I knew a fact that is not gng to change. I was utterly shocked when I knew that... Entangled in a 4-sided r/s is really insane. I guessed none of them knew except me & keisha. Sometimes it's really amusing seeing & knowing things totally unexpected. My way of life kept changing & I've got no time to notice them even till now. Not that I want to know either...
Fell sick yesterday, with my horrible sorethroat, adding on was my cough & half sub-sided fever, not to mention flu. I'm really exhausted be it mentally or physically.
My mind is in a swirl of state, r/s, money, friends, family,studies..etc etc. way too many to handle. Let the physical flow in with my health failing & with my illness(sick) now, gawdz. I need a break.
I'm really not cut of to be some awesome,brillant,omgawd woa person in life srsly. Perhaps a simple me will do the trick. I guessed I've been way too greedy, wanting almost everything possible. I'm dead tired of those trying. It's hurting so badly. I'm such a crazy insane nutty screw-loose person sometimes. Not to mention, weirdness. I can't seem to find anyone like me, thinking like me or worst understanding me. Perhaps I've to face everything alone. Those thoughts that are running through my mind naow are totally crazed. How haywire my mind can be actually. I'm wondering...
O's is coming in another 29 days. 4 weeks? Wish me luck. I'm dying. literally.
Title: Wassssupz
Had been home these 2 days(Wed/Thurs). Pretty worn out after so many nights out so I guess it's a good time for me to rest @ home(being home & staying out of the real world seems so much happier.)
So I presumed many of my readers are getting bored of my blog posts these days uh. Nothing much interesting coming/happened. Sadly, I don't wish to have any interesting happening too. Cause it's just too breath-taking. I don't think I'll have any more extra energy for those either. I just simply adore normal & simple daily routine life. Like that, I'm more than satisfied alr.
So how's my preparation for my O's? I guessed many of you are wondering. It's really so tough. 30 days left to those deadly examinations. I'm afraid yes I am yet I'm always slacking & wasting tons of time away. I know I've complained a billion time or even more, it's really irritating. Omgawdzx. I hate the despise look people can give you everytime when they heard I left school. FK it k, you all just don't understand what I've been through, why I quit school(though I always say I was stress thats why I left, it's bullshitz), how hard I tried to survive, how difficult is it for me to overcome all those problems I had these few years. You guys DON'T FREAKING KNOW AT ALL. Not even my closest friends. It's like my deep down secret. Even if I say it, no one can ever uds, cause you guys was'nt the one that had been through it! I was on the verge of giving up my life at that point of time. Way too drama, way too complicating. Urged. But thank God , at least I'm so much better now. I'm living as a normal person(hopfully), having a normal routine in life. I thank God for all really. Perhaps through those darkest days of my life, I've learnt more. To treasure more & to love more. So it's Friday already(1:02am). TGIF(like everyone said.) & I'm meeting my dear seokyee for sth special. Hopefully all will turn out well. Yup, balloons, candles & bubbles. Not to mention, many more stuffs. hehehhe. Can't wait ! Well, I'm currently watching some dramas I found online to keep me company these 2 days. At least I won't think so much & be sooooo depresssssed. Moodswing for all teenagers? Now I finally agree. When I was young, I was like huh? what? moodswing? for what? & stuffs... but now I know. It's like something outta of your control. If only we don't have sad times right? But contridictingly , if we don't have sad times, we don't even know how impt happy times are. So yup, pros & cons here & there in almost every aspect. Such a long draggy & wordy post indeed. So I guessed I shall stop here & perhaps update more about my life soon(-: Bye guys. See ya here again^^
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